Fat Bastard

Fat Bastard is a fat bastard, but he's wax now.

History
Fat Bastard worked as a spy for Dr. Evil. After it turned out the whole thing was a scam, he became a wax figure in Niagara Falls, Ontario. He is still capable of talking and farting. But he can't move and is forced to comply with the fact that he can no longer itch his sweaty balls.

Trivia

 * Wax figures don't sweat from their balls, just don't tell him that.